I have yet another learning experience to share with you today!

A good sign that I’m tired and may have piled too much into my schedule is that I tend to get irritable and don’t understand why others don’t see things my way.  I admit I can get inpatient, moody and quite bothered that they don’t recognize just how busy I am!  I fool myself in thinking that I keep these frustrations to myself. I try to watch what comes out of my mouth but in reality my actions and the occasional slip up of words speak volumes.  I know that my martyr like attitude impacts those that I am closest to.   I bring this to God regularly and work hard at changing my ways. I think this past week though God may have thought I needed a little more refinement in this area!

Earlier in the week I was studying 1 Kings chapter 22 and noticed how easily I could have fit into that chapter!  I identified with King Jehoshaphat as he followed his heart and sought the Lord for direction on whether to go to war along side King Ahab.  I wonder though if he truly heard the Lord’s response as he went against the direction and chose to go into battle anyway.

Like Jehoshaphat, I long to follow the Lord, but slip up at times too!  I believe He is sovereign over all and I trust in His word.  I spend time with Him every morning and try to stay connected with His spirit throughout my day. I start my day by asking Him to be present with me, to guide me in my decisions, my actions and what I say.  But like Jehoshaphat I am not consistent.  I admit there are times when I am rushing through my to do lists or when I get caught up in my own emotions that I don’t hear Him clearly.  It’s almost like I’ve turned the volume up on my own agenda and have muted God out.

There are times in fact that the Holy Spirit has to awaken me in the middle of quiet sleepy night in order to get my attention.  Last night was one of those nights!   He brought the following words to me from 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.  It made me me realize how I was behaving and that God simply wanted me to live out this scripture instead.

It was a good reminder for me.  I so easily fall into a very self centered approach and neglect what Paul was teaching us here.  If my eyes were to stay focused on things from above and not on myself, I could love others. I recognize that loading my schedule is my downfall.  It’s tricky for me because I tend to fill my day up with things that I believe are pleasing to the Lord, but not being patient and treating other people poorly because they are not recognizing me is not pleasing to Him.  Its so important for me to keep things in balance so that I may be present enough to hear the spirits promptings before I head down that path again.

Its funny, I never feel tired after a sleepless night with the spirit!  Lord I thank you for your gift of LOVE.  I am in awe of how much you LOVE me.  Thank you for giving us your son and for the sacrifice He took for all my wrong doings.  I want to keep my eyes fixed on you and share your LOVE with others, especially those that I have taken my frustrations out on lately.  I pray that my story might connect with another and they too may be inspired to accept and share your LOVE. Amen.

I would like to share one more thing before I close today…

I’ve mentioned before how vital studying scripture is to me. I wanted to share a bible study and devotion app that I use every morning. It’s called First 5 and is part of the Proverbs 31 Ministries.  It’s a tool for me that keeps me disciplined in my reading and also helps me to understand what I’ve just read.  I spent many years feeling frustrated because I didn’t comprehend scripture.  I mentioned before that English was not my strongest subject and my reading skills were not the best. I don’t believe God intended the bible to be difficult for us to understand.  Reading scripture and having the support of this ministry has really brought His words to life for me!

Each day we read a chapter from the bible. The First 5 team then shares a short devotion that both digs a little deeper into the chapter but also relates it to our present day. There is an opportunity to share feedback with other online members or to create your own private group of friends to connect with. I share a private group with my two daughters and my mother in law!  It’s been a wonderful support to all of us as we get to apply the readings to our own personal life experiences. I encourage you to check out the First 5 app if you aren’t already following it.

Blessings, Allison